I'm getting closer and closer to my surgery date. I'm going into that numb mode. I don't really know what to feel right now. I'm looking forward to being 'recovered.' I have as really bad case of the 'heeby jeebies.'

Oh Poop (and Pee!)

I can't believe it! It seems that we're done with diapers in this house. As I suspected she would be, C was easy to potty train. I knew it was up to me to make a little effort and encourage her. I finally did my part and she took it from there. She is jumping the final hurdle by pooping in the potty this week. She is such a hard worker! Always has been. when she sets her mind to something, she works at it until she is comfortable with it.

Phrase most likely to come out of C's mouth? "I do it my own self!"

Poor A was subjected to months and months of potty training, well before she was ready. The only books we read were potty books; the only videos we watched were potty videos. She knew everything there was to know about the potty, but she wasn't ready to do it herself. Just around her third birthday, she was ready and gave her diapers up completely.

C, on the other hand, had her sister to learn from. She went with her to the potty for months, talking to her about it, getting her toilet paper, and flushing for her big sister, who happens to love having things done for her. What a team! All I had to do was put underpants on C for a couple of hours a day, clean up a few accidents and accompany C to the potty for moral support. Within a week, C was going to the potty all by her 'own self.' Just this week, she walked off to the bathroom and after a few minutes, she yelled, "I went poopy!" She did it that day, then the next, then the next. All by her own self. What a girl. I'm so impressed.

Her personality is so strong and she really is her 'own self.' There's no one like C and I'm so proud of her.

This Old Leg of Mine

I sent this out to a few dear friends who live far away. I've been terrible about keeping in touch with them and really wanted to let them know about the major event coming up for me.

Since breaking my leg in October 97, I've dealt with a lot of pain of all kinds. Everything from muscle spasms, to plantar's faciitis in my dominant foot, to arthritis, to my current diagnosis, avascular necrosis. Starting this past fall, my pain started to ramp up fairly quickly. I had an xray done and the radiologists read it as a bone tumor. This seemed totally crazy to me since it seemed unrelated to my break. I couldn't find any information linking fractures to bone tumors. I went to seen an orthopedic doctor. They re-xrayed me and decided it was not a bone tumor, but trochanteric bursitis. The pain matched the diagnosis. The PA gave me a shot of cortisone, which relieved the pain for a while. Fast forward to February of this year. My pain started coming back and Joe started pushing me to go back to the doctor. I'd just changed to a new primary care doctor. It turned out that I could get a cortisone shot from one of the doctors in the practice. He took another xray (I'm glad I'm not planning on any more kids with all these xrays!) and told me that he didn't think it was bursitis that was hurting me, but arthritis. He said I had a "rough-looking hip for someone my age". He said there wasn't much he could do except encourage me to take my Naprosyn twice daily instead of just once, give me a shot of cortisone, and encourage me to hold off on a hip replacement as long as I could. I went home feeling better - the shot had anesthetic in it and gave me temporary relief. By that evening, the pain had come back. The next day it was worse. The next day worse and so on. I was in terrible pain. My parents come down and took the girls to their place to take care of them for me. I went back to the doctor on Monday. For the first time, I hadn't diagnosed myself before seeing the doctor. I told them I needed help and didn't know what to do. I was walking with a cane, sitting down and getting up was agony and I couldn't sleep in my own bed. I was crying myself to a light sleep every night. He prescribed a stronger arthritis medicine (Celebrex) and ordered an MRI. The results of the MRI came from another doctor in the practice. My doctor wasn't in, but she thought it was important that I hear it. Ugh, not good. I had severe cartilage loss (bone touching bone in some spots), cysts, tunneling from the old hardware I had removed 6 years ago, spurring and avascular necrosis. She said that meant the blood supply to my bone was compromised. I looked this new term up and found a foundation for AVN. OK, so this is serious. It means that my bone is dying from the inside out. Rotting really. There is no blood going to the tip of my femur. I got an appointment with a great Orthopedic Surgeon. I liked him as soon as he walked in the room. He xrayed me, looked at my MRI films and told me I had 2 options: try to live with it or have a hip replacement. I was there because I'd been living with it and I wasn't able to function properly anymore. So, I'm scheduled to have a total hip replacement of my right hip on June 5 at Oakwood Heritage Hospital - my third surgery on my hip in 10 years. This will be a long, difficult recovery, but I'm actually looking forward to it. I've been told that I will wake up from surgery and my arthritis pain will be gone. There will be surgery pain, but it's different and I'm not afraid of it. I'll be in the hospital for about 3 days. My parents and Joe's parents will step in an take care of A and C while I recover. I anticipate that I'll need their daily help for about 4 weeks. I'll have in-home physical therapy, which is so cool. No one has to worry about driving me around. Big stuff, huh? I'm really young for this, but the doctor said my special circumstances outweighed my youth. The replacement will be ceramic and should last 30-40 years. This is much better than the 15 years max I'd heard everywhere else. A computer will assist the surgery, measuring everything to double-check. I should end up with legs the same length, which I was just told I don't have right now. What do ya know?

I'd really appreciate some prayers and positive thought on the 5th of June and for these 2 months - just getting through life until then. I scheduled for June 5 because that's the soonest I could get after A finishes preschool for the year. I could have had the surgery as soon as April 30. I'm glad I pushed it out. A won't miss any school and my parents and in-laws don't have to worry about driving her to and from school. But getting A to school is a hard process: load the girls in the car, drive, unload and walk everyone to A's classroom (quickly since we're usually running late), take C back home, rest a little if C will let me, reload C, drive, unload and go pick A up, load in the car and try to drive them home without giving in to their pleas for McDonald's lunch. Easy for most, but each step is difficult when pain is involved.